I wonder if the dudes with handlebar mustaches are pissed that they aren’t that weird anymore.
Nothing tastes as good as Thin Mints FEELS!!!!
The cutest prison-couples finish each other’s sentences.
This is why they don’t let me drive. :(
I said “Let me know if you need anything” to my sick friend and she had the nerve to actually LET ME KNOW THAT SHE NEEDED SOMETHING!!!
This is my first rodeo. I’m just naturally good at them.
My new favorite bumper sticker.
But it here: https://tinyurl.com/mu4pxgr
For Lent, I’m giving up.
That awkward moment when Catwoman seductively purrs “I’ve been a bad kitty….” and you get a little rise out of the bat-pole from it…. Then you realize that the same actress did the voice for both of these characters.
Sometimes I think of really scary things like someone I kinda know seeing me eating alone at a restaurant and trying to sit at my table and talk to me.
- E smokers
I named my pit bull “Babyface” after his favorite snack.
"Do me now!"
All of the hipsters in my neighborhood look like homeless lawn gnomes.
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